Eggs Anyone? Or Maybe Sheep?

I think I missed the weekend.  I just don't know where it went!

Saturday started off with a very early alarm clock.....6am to be exact.  I got up and got ready for my very busy day.  First I made a trip to Starbucks for my "Starbucks Saturday". (I know that Saturdays during tax season involve long days at the office, so I treat myself to an expensive amazing cup of coffee.)  After getting my Vanilla Latte to go, I headed over to the pharmacy to drop off my prescription for the Femara.  Then I headed to the outpatient lab for the bloodwork that Dr. B ordered.  Can you believe that after all that running around I made it to work before 8:30am??  I ended up spending the next nine and a half hours in the comfort of my office chair.

On the way home I headed back to the pharmacy.  The perscription I thought would be $100.....well, turns out it was my lucky day.  It was a whole $4!  Of course, I already know that I will not be this lucky with the next medicine I need.  Insurance won't cover it.  So far, the cheapest I have been able to find it is for $100.  Hopefully Dr. B will have some other sources for me tomorrow.

Speaking of Dr. B, her nurse called me with the results of my bloodwork today.  The nurse said that everything looked great.  The most important number was for FSH.  They want to see 7 and under.  Mine was 4.  Basically it means that I have good eggs!  You don't know how glad I am to know this! I was beginning to think that I may have to go in search for a chicken with some good eggs. 

When I told my MIL the part about the chicken she said "This grandma is delighted to know she won't get a mouthful of feathers every time she kisses the baby."  Too funny!

Since we are on the subject of farm type animals I thought I would show you my progress on "The Counting House":

Up until this week, I was working on it for about fifteen minutes every morning.  This week I've changed up my morning routine and I no longer have time for stitching.....or a cup of coffee for that matter.  I've decided that it is more important for me to get to work earlier and come home earlier.  Plus, with all of the appointments that I will have to go to during the week I want to make sure I can get all of my required hours in without sleeping at my office.  Hopefully I will be able to get a few stitches in at night.

Oh, and my new cell phone arrived today.  A day early!  I guess that means I must be living right!

Happy Stitching!

A Positive Plan of Action

Today stunk!  It was bad from the moment I woke up.  All I wanted to do today was go home, get back in bed and pull the covers up over my head.  But, as bad as it was, I didn't let it show.  I joked and I laughed and I tried to stay on the positive.  I was even positive when I found out that I would have to live with a broken cell phone until a new one will arrive on Tuesday. 

I have a reason to be positive.  On Tuesday I met the most amazing, wonderful doctor.  I'll call her Dr. B.  Dr. B is the specialist who is going to help Hubby and I with TQfM.  We were able to set up a "plan of action" that will hopefully end up with a big fat positive.  I know it may take more than one month, but all the planning, the pain and the money will be worth it no matter what happens. 

Today is Day 1.  Tomorrow I will make a special trip to the outpatient lab to give blood.  Dr. B wants to test for certain hormones and the "age" of my eggs.  Then, on Sunday I will begin popping pills.  But, no Clomid for me this time.  I'm taking Femara.  That's right....Femara.  Yes, I know, they give this drug to post menopausal women with breast cancer.  But, apparently, it is now being used for infertility.  (Isn't modern science amazing?)  I'm hoping it does the job.

This plan also has me venturing out of my comfort zone.  Next Friday I am going for an initial consultation with a licensed acupuncturist who specializes in infertility issues.  Hubby's cousin pushed me over the edge.  She went to see an acupuncturist as part of her fertility plan.  (We are less than a year apart in age and this is a first marriage/first child situation for both of us.)  I've seen acupuncture in action and I believe that it can be of help in many situations.  However, I'm extremely afraid of needles that puncture my skin.  Plus I never even considered acupuncture for my issues.  I've only related it to relieving physical pain.  Again, I'm going to keep positive about this as well.  In fact, I'm actually looking forward to my appointment!

Speaking of needles, it has been hard for me to pick mine up since I finished the project that has yet to be revealed.  Still, I try to get five to ten minutes of stitching in while I drink my coffee in the mornings.  While it has been minimally affective for progress, it has been a wonderful way to keep the stress at bay.  Hopefully I can devote Sunday to finishing and stitching!

Have a great weekend.  Stay positive!!!

Happy Stitching!

More Than A Memory

Earlier this month I decided I needed a little something as a remembrance for my two little angels.  I had heard of something called "Remembrance Jewelry" and I went looking on esty.

I found a wonderful little shop called Bugaboo Jewelry and I had a beautiful necklace designed for me.  I'm so very pleased with the result.

Today is my first appointment with the specialist.  I'm praying for some answers and for help.

Happy Stitches!

Picture Promises

I can't believe that it is Sunday evening already!  Where did the weekend go?  I guess it didn't help that I'm now working on Saturdays, so that makes my weekends even shorter than usual.

Today my husband ended up working, so it gave me some time to catch up on the pictures that I've been promising.  First up is proof positive that I have been stitching.

I know it doesn't look like much, but it is more than you think it is.  This is from a piece that I can't show just yet, so you will have to stay tuned.

On Thursday I mentioned some happy mail.  While I was at work I received a package from The Attic with some wonderful Blackbird Designs items.  Then, when I got home, I had a thoughtful little package from Grace.  She sent me a set of angel wings along with a hug token....just to let me know she cared.  Aren't blogging buddies amazing?  Thank you so much Grace!  I have the wings in my stitching basket next to my happy chair so that I can be reminded of your generosity.

New acquisitions along with Grace's wings.  I love happy mail!

As I mentioned earlier, Saturday was a work day for me.  While it didn't last all day, I did manage to get a good start on my week by working for about five hours.  After work I decided to take the long way home so that I could continue the happiness and stop by one of the local quilt stores.  On the way I spotted a sign for an estate sale.  I said to myself "Why not?" and I followed the signs to the house.  I was in luck!  It was the third day of the sale and everything was 50% off.  There wasn't much left, but this managed to catch my eye.......

Isn't this shelving unit amazing?  It is nice and sturdy.  When I turned it over I noticed that it was put together by tongue and groove.  Good stuff!  Plus, I love the little drawers.  Once I get it cleaned up it will be the perfect place to show off many of my finishes.  Now, if only I could figure out where I should hang it up......

Since I didn't break the bank at the estate sale, I headed over to the quilt shop.  Let's just say that I was a really, really, really, really bad girl!  Look what jumped into my hands and insisted on coming home with me.

I couldn't help myself!  First of all, you know how much I love Barb & Alma, so you knew their newest quilt book had to come home with me.  (Would you believe there is a cross stitch pattern in there?)  I would have also come home with some of their yummy new fabric, Blueberry Crumb Cake, but it hadn't come in yet.  Instead, I picked up the bundle in the upper right hand corner.  I have some grand plans for that bundle.  I'm going to attempt to make two baby quilts out of it.  Of course, the key work there is attempt.  The co-worker with the twin boys isn't due until May, so it gives me a little bit of time to try.  I've got a simple pattern called "Yellow Brick Road" laying next to my sewing machine just waiting for those fat quarters.

Oh, and did you catch sight of this in the upper left corner?

I have a special project in mind for these cute little frogs.  I picked up a yard of each and I hope it is enough.  Now I just need to find a few extra minutes away from my husband and my stitching!

Speaking of stitching, I have one last shot for you.  I know I talked about starting that new Blackbird piece, but it has been dreary here today and it is slated to continue for the next day or two.  It is hard to do conversions without some good old fashioned sunshine, so I guess I'll just have to continue working on this.....

The Counting House by Little House Needleworks

Time to stop blogging and start stitching!

Happy Stitches!

Ouch, That Hurt! & Happy Mail

I've decided that in addition to everything else, I'm going to try and keep this blog updated on our journey to becoming parents.  So, to that end, I began what I'm going to call "The Quest for Motherhood" ("TQfM" for short) early yesterday morning.

After everything that happened last week, I booked an appointment with my primary care physician regarding a referral to a local Reproductive/Fertility Institute.  Well, my "talk" with the doctor turned into a physical (which I haven't had in years).  I ended up with a Tetanus shot and I also had to do blood work.  EWWWW!  I hate shots and I hate blood work even more.  Needles scare me!  (Well, those kind anyway...)  Would you believe my arm still hurts from that stupid shot! 

At least I had some good news.  I lost another pound!  Wheeee!

**********

In stitchy news, I'm so very close to finishing up that model.  Good thing too, because I got some "Happy Mail" at work today......a Priority Envelope from The Attic in Mesa, AZ (my favorite shop of all time)!  It contained the last BBD Loose Feathers as well as some other wonderful BBD books/charts that I've been wanting.  In particular, I'm most enthralled with the book "A Schoolgirl's Work".  You see, there is a wonderful pattern in it that will be my new start.  It is more than appropriate for me right now and I knew the instant I saw it that I had to stitch it.  Honestly, I was ready to leave work "sick" so that I could go home and stitch!  Plus, Hubby just informed me that I have more "Happy Mail" at home.  I wonder what that could be since I haven't ordered anything else.....

I do hope traffic will be kind to me on the way home!

Happy Stitching!

Virtual Hugs and a Warm Welcome

First and foremost, I want to thank everyone for the wonderful comments and personal emails that were filled withlove, hugs and prayers.  This is a horribly hard time in the lives of my husband and I and we appreciate everything that everyone is doing for us.  With each comment and email I could virtually feel the love and support that I have through this blogging community.  It helps to know that there are many others who are/were on the same journey as we are currently on.  I'm hoping that we too will have a happy ending to our story.....what ever that end may be.

I would normally respond to each and every comment or email with a personal reply, but unfortunately I have been unable to do so.  Many of you do not allow replies to your comments and/or you do not have an email address in your profiles, so I have no way of getting in touch with you.  Not only that, but with the start of tax season my personal computer time has now been severely limited.  I spend all day on the computer at work and it is very hard to pull out my computer at night when all I really want to do is shut off my brain for an hour or two before landing in bed.  So, for the lack of personal response, I do apologize.  Consider this post a "thank you" to each and every one of you for your prayers. (For those of you who did send me personal emails, please know that I have read them as well and that I appreciate you sharing your stories with me.  I will be in touch, but you may not hear anything for a few days.)

I also want to take this time to extend a warm and hearty welcome my newest followers.  I'm so glad that you have come to my little piece of blog land and have decided to stick around for awhile.  I do apologize for the glumness of the past few posts, but as you already know, this blog isn't just about cross stitch.  I created this so that I could not only share my love of cross stitch, but also to share a bit about my life.  I almost feel that this is a diary of sorts and I've noticed that sometimes blogging helps to set things into perspective......no matter how hard or emotional the subject matter may be.

At this point, I would show you what I've been working on, but unfortunately I can't.  Lately, I've been spending all of my stitching time with a beautiful model that a dear friend asked me to stitch for her.  I had hoped to finish it this weekend, but with the emotional cards I was dealt this week it was extremely hard to stitch and cry at the same time.  But, I'm still stitching through those dang tears.......I'm in the home stretch and I hope to have it done soon.  I've got lots of personal stitching/sewing/quilting waiting in the wings that I can't wait to share with everyone, so you know that my aim is to finish up soon.

Have a wonderful week!  Hugs to you all!

Emotions

This week has been another emotional roller coaster for me.  Good days and bad days are all mixing together.

It really started on Tuesday at lunch.  A hunch that I had last week was confirmed.  I found out that another co-worker is pregnant.  She's in her mid twenties and she has been going to a fertility clinic for PCOS.  How can I not be happy for her?  How can I not feel sad for my husband and myself?  The worst part about it all, this co-worker works under me, so I will have major contact with her for the next three and a half months as tax season rolls on.  (I don't know if I mentioned it earlier, but there is also another co-worker who is pregnant with twins.  I will have to see her, but at least I won't have to work closely with her.)

On Wednesday morning I got the results from the tests that the doctor ran during my D&C.  The reason it took so long is that the lab had to grow the cells.  The result?  46, XY....a genetically perfect baby boy with no chromosonal issues.  All in all I am trying to take comfort in the fact that this is very good news.  Still, there is no explanation as to why his little heart stopped beating.  At this point my family and I just think that his little heart wasn't strong enough and he decided that it was easier to go see God when he did instead of putting us through further pain.

Yesterday, Thursday, seemed to be a good day......I didn't cry at the drop of a hat like the day before.  I started putting my life back in order and I began to make plans that involved a couple of new doctor appointments.  The first was for my primary care physician so that I could get her up to speed.  The second appointment was for a reproductive specialist recommended by my OBGYN.  So, even though I was feeling anxious, I was focused on the future.  It didn't matter that the specialist may cost us more money than we have.  I wasn't even too upset at the possibility that insurance won't cover anything because they could consider this a fertility issue instead of a history of miscarriages.  I knew that my husband and I have the support of our families.....both emotional and monetary (if the need should arise).

I came home from work with a smile on my face and a new attitude about life.  I had a wonderful dinner with my husband (that he cooked!) and then we sat down to enjoy some TV before heading off to bed.  I picked up my model stitching and happily put needle and thread to fabric.  Then the phone rang.  It was Hubby's cousin.....with news I didn't want or need to hear..........

THEY ARE PREGNANT



She's 11 weeks along, so they knew when we saw them over the Christmas holiday.  They told most of the family then, but they kept it a secret from us because of what we had just been through.  Both Hubby and I knew they were acting weird during the holiday and now we know why.  Deep down I am happy for the both of them.  They are both a year younger than I am, so I know how she felt about time ticking away and wanting to add at least one little one the the family.  Still, it really cut like a knife when she told me.  Thankfully I was able to hold back the tears until after I hung up the phone.

Sigh..............

Still I cry as I type this.  But I'm trying to be strong.  My OBGYN is sending me to the best place on the East Coast for reproductive medicine.  In fact, the first IVF baby in the United States was born at this Institute.  I also found out that while my MIL worked in alumni affairs at the medical school she worked closely with the doctor that I will be seeing.  I kind of feel like the puzzle pieces are falling into place and I'm trying to ignore the hiccups of hearing that other people are pregnant.  I'm trying to keep the faith, but sometimes I wonder why God allows me to handle so much!

One day at a time, right? 

I promise.......I'm trying!

Time

Time is a precious commodity......and it is about to become even more precious.  Tax season has struck early for me this year.  I already have several clients who have sent in their work and that means that I'm back to the grind.  Gone are the lazy days of this summer when I could do anything I wanted.  Back then I could work on every project under the sun!  Now I'm just trying to figure out how to get it all in. 

There are so many things on my "To Do Wish List" and it isn't all about my cross stitch either.  For example, I still have to finish my quilt that I started last year.  And I won't mention all of the wonderful sewing projects that I have in my baskets in the craft room.  I just seem to keep acquiring them!  In fact, there are two small sewing projects in particular that are screaming my name right now.  (Thank you, Myra!!!!! You are amazing!)

I'm also trying to get a few little workouts in this winter as well.  I admit it, I hate physical fitness!  I was one of those kids in high school who would walk the mile and didn't give a hoot about a Presidential Physical Fitness Award.  I hated gym and I was so glad that I didn't have to take it my junior and senior years.  It left more time for Marching Band and Wind Ensemble!  Fast forward to present day......  By no means am I grossly overweight, but being of short stature, five pounds can really make a difference.  So, I've taken on a little bit of physical activity a couple of evenings a week......Zumba......on my Wii.  Now don't laugh (even though I know it's hard not to).  A girl has to do something to combat stitchy/sewing ass!

Don't forget I still have to finish up my Model Stitching.  (I only have about a third of it to go.)  And then there are the wips that I really want to finish up this year from last year's Crazy January Challenge.  Plus, there are a few new pieces that I'm itching to start this year like the Spanish Mystery Sampler by Shakespeare's Peddler.  Oh....and that Birds of a Feather piece that everyone did last summer.  You know the one.  That one is in my bag too, just begging to be started!  Should I even bother to mention the exchange that I'm involved in?


Would it be awful to say I love it when Hubby gets stuck at work or has to be there on a Sunday?  Sigh.......

Welcome 2012!